Tuesday, April 02, 2013
B is for.... Baby Fever!
To continue on this theme of adulthood.... you guys, I have Baby Fever. I've pretty much had it my whole life, since I had that first baby doll toy that I was so good at pretending was my Real Baby. I've been one of those girls who always dreamed of the time when I would become a Mom. Not everyone has maternal instincts or feels so easily ready to become a parent, but I am one of those "I cannot wait to have a baby of my own!!!1!11" crazy people.
I grew up in a large family as one of the eldest cousins, so when we used to visit our family cottage I was always surrounded by new baby cousins to snuggle and care for. I loved when my aunts would pass a new baby on to me, as they headed out to take their older children on a boat ride or for a swim. I would rock my baby cousins, sing them songs, and dream of when it was my turn for this joy of having little ones of my own.
I have to be honest, when over planning my life... I always, always thought I'd have a baby by now. I wanted at least two babies by age thirty, since my plan used to always be to have at least three, maybe four, children. Before having my bad break-up in 2010, this seemed reasonable to still imagine. However, since then I have been able to adjust my perspective on this, and realize it isn't rare these days not to have a child before age thirty... however, every year that I get closer, with no ring on my finger and no immediate plans for pregnancy, I do wilt a little inside and have a mini panic attack that "it'll never happen" (crazy, I know, but alas, such is my mind). It'll all be fine, and looking back won't seem nearly so bad, but man! I do ever so badly look forward to the day I'm a mom. I just love kids, love taking care of other peoples kids, and crave domestic "mom" life so much. I'm such a fan of mommy blogs, and yet by the time this blog becomes one that fad will have faded, I'm sure!
I also know my "time to shine" will be when the time for kids in our lives happens. I feel very good about my abilities as an educator (a caregiver of a certain type, for sure), however I know I don't always have that much to contribute yet to my relationship since Mr. Lock is the expert cook, and is better at understanding big picture finance and other issues. One day, though, when it's time for children, there I will be. I'll have the knowledge, the skills, the organization plans, the resources... I will really shine, and I am so looking forward to it.
So, this is just the real me... baby obsessed. My best friends know this, and always have. As if it is meant to make it easier on me as a gift from the universe, it seems my best friends are not quite ready yet to start having babies the way I would be if I had of been married before them... so at least that makes it a little easier to take. There would be some definite feelings of jealousy to overcome if they had kids far, far before me. On the other hand, there would be babies in my life that I would hopefully be called upon often to take care of fairly often... so perhaps I would get over the jealousy in favour of the babies! Babies in my life!
In fact... they can get started anytime. They have my full approval and support.
Let's turn it over to you... are you a parent, or do you want to be one some day? Did you ever experience baby fever? How many children do you have, or do you hope to have one day? If you have never wanted to have children, is there a reason why?