#PandemicBaby - Part 2

Trigger Warning: This post references fertility, miscarriage, pregnancy loss. Please be mindful if these are topics that are personally upsetting or produce anxiety for you -- you are not alone.

So where did we leave off?  Since May 2014, I had been trying to become a mother. Three miscarriages, and then my amazing rainbow baby Nate was born in January 2017. In attempting to give him a sibling, we had another miscarriage and then I suffered a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and lost a Fallopian tube. But I wasn't quite ready to give up yet.

I went back to the fertility specialist I had worked with before having Nate. Running many tests, we once again could not determine reasons for my pregnancy losses. The only thing we discovered is that my egg count is low for my age -- and now that I had this test twice over a few years, he could see it was dropping at a higher rate than the reasoning to just be "you were born with less" or something of that nature. So we couldn't know for sure, but the best guess we could have was that my egg count being low could mean my egg quality is low and so it's genetic bad luck if it just isn't a healthy egg being fertilized.  I went back to taking co-enzyme Q10 (forgot to mention in my last post, I had taken that before my one successful pregnancy) as there's some research that supports it as a supplement that promotes egg health for women.

I then began the discussion about getting onto a waiting list for funded IVF. In our province, we can receive one government funded round of IVF (doesn't cover the medications, but my work plan would). It's a long waiting list, however. So, I wanted to be sure to get onto the list knowing it would be a year or more before we were called for our IVF cycle.  I wasn't ready to get pregnant too soon after the ectopic, I had some emotional stuff to work through, but I didn't want to miss a chance to be on the list sooner than later -- especially since the fertility doctor had concerns about my egg quality and how many he may be able to harvest.

He was also concerned that I was "flinching" too easily during exam and internal ultrasound. So, before he would put me on the IVF waitlist I had to go to pelvic physiotherapy first.  So I began some physio around February 2019.  I went for multiple sessions, and learned how to relax my anxiety related to gynecological tests and it was enough to satisfy the fertility doctor. So in April 2019, he added my name to the IVF waiting list.

I relaxed -- we weren't going to try to get pregnant naturally, as I was fearful of another ectopic pregnancy and losing my only remaining tube.  I was going to wait and attempt IVF, and if it didn't work we were going to throw in the towel and move on enjoying our lives as parents of an only child.

Fast forward to August 2019. Just after being home from a vacation.

Yes, we got carried away LITERALLY ONE TIME and didn't use protection.

And yes, I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test at the end of August.

I was surprised -- one Fallopian tube and it still worked!  I was elated -- this is the best I could hope for, a natural pregnancy.  I was freaking out with anxiety.  I just hoped it wouldn't result in another ectopic or miscarriage... I didn't think I could take another one.

Miracle of miracles, the pregnancy continued on and progressed very well. I was nervous for EVERY ultrasound, but we made it through each one seeing a strong heartbeat and normal measurements. It was just like when I was pregnant with Nate -- things just seemed to go well. I showed much earlier, and had some pelvic pains and tension, and there was some additional work stress that I had to manage -- but everything else was going really well.

We found out at our 19 week ultrasound, after giving a post-it from the technician to our friends so they could help us find out in a fun way, that we were expecting a second baby boy.  Our second little miracle boy.

So now... we are excitedly looking forward to his arrival... and yet, we've been his with this Global Pandemic. A lot of hospital protocol has changed -- we have paid close attention to what we need to do. We have been staying completely quarantined since March 17th so we know we are not ill in any way before going to the hospital (if Mr. Lock had any exposure to a positive case, he would not be allowed in with me for the delivery).

So, my miracle pregnancy that was going oh-so-normal.... is now resulting in me delivering this baby DURING A PANDEMIC.

I get it, Universe. This was already going to be our absolute last pregnancy, but we really get the message now. We done!

Looking forward to being able to share a happy bit of news when baby boy #2 arrives -- any day now on his own (though I feel that isn't likely) or on April 14th when I'm scheduled for a c-section.

Fingers crossed everything goes well, and we can safely deliver our #pandemicbaby AND that Mr. Lock can stay with me in the hospital for my short stay following the c-section surgery.