I Had to Buy TP: A Poem

It wasn't for me!
It wasn't for me!
I promise you, it wasn't for me!
I did have to buy TP --
but I promise you, it wasn't for me!

You see, my granny was getting low.
She's old, and frail, and concerned you know -
with what to do if she runs out -
in a town that had already hoarded, no doubt.

Our Costco was bare,
Our Superstore too...
What could this poor granddaughter do?

When suddenly what sort of post should appear?
On a town Facebook group that I now hold near and dear?
There was some stock of that important paper,
At one local store -- I could make it there later!

"Two per customer" the sign said on the pallet,
It was slightly overpriced but I was so happy I'd found it!
So, I picked up my two allotted packs
and guiltily paid for them, covering my tracks...

I told everyone in earshot, whether they cared or not,
that it wasn't for ME, oh, no, of course, NEVER...
We had already bought ours BEFORE, 
we were CLEVER...
But my dear old Gran, she really ran low... 
So I'm buying it for HER, 
I'm a HERO, you know.

- "I Had to Buy TP": A Poem by Ms. Key

PS -- this purchase (very truthfully done for my grandparents who are 86 & 87 and still live in their own home out of town) was made PRIOR to our state of emergencies being declared and the request being made to self-isolate at home. I was already only very cautiously venturing out over the last few weeks, since a week ago I have not been to any public location at all. #stayhome